


Too Afraid To Love

by batwaynebruceman



Category: Glee, klaine - Fandom
Genre: AU, Angst, Badboy!Kurt, Friendship, M/M, Nerd!Blaine, Romance, multi-chapter, non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 21:38:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batwaynebruceman/pseuds/batwaynebruceman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Blaine's a new kid at McKinley, and a nerd. He's terrified of starting a new school, finding comfort in the infamous Kurt Hummel, the school's "badass". They're both drawn to each other, but they don't know why. Neither of them know that they are both hiding dark pasts; can they learn to trust each other and survive what their lives are about to throw at them?</p><p>Badboy!Kurt, Nerd!Blaine</p><p> </p><p>Warnings: Very strong language, sex, angst, self harm, physical abuse and discussions/flashbacks of sexual abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Too Afraid To Love
> 
> Rating : M
> 
> Pairings: Kurt/Blaine
> 
> Warnings: Very strong language, sex, angst, physical abuse, discussions/flashbacks of sexual abuse and rape, self harm and suicide.

Kurt Hummel had a bad reputation and he knew it. He was the kind of person that fuelled rumours about himself because he found them hilarious. His personal favourite one was that he'd managed to seduce Principal Figgins to let him into the school, back when he was fourteen. He knew people talked about him all the time, yet he loved it. Kurt adored attention, whether it was on the stage or from people around him. Kurt's appearance was always immaculate – his hair was styled to perfection and his skin was clear. He was wearing his favourite leather jacket, a white t-shirt and skin tight red jeans, tucked into a pair of Doc Marten boots. He  _knew_ he looked good, and he often used it to his advantage.

"Look, there he is!"

"Where, I can't see him?"

"There, looking in the locker, next to the cheerleader!"

" _Oh_  that's him! Oh my goodness, he's hot!"

"Don't even  _go_ there Amy, he doesn't date  _anyone_."

"I bet I could change that!"

Kurt raised an eyebrow, smiling to himself. He knew, without turning around, that whoever was talking were freshmen. Everyone else at McKinley High knew his reputation. Kurt pretended to look in his locker for a little while longer, before pulling out his maths books. Then, he shut the door, slamming it with unnecessary force. He turned to face the speakers – two girls, barely old enough to be there. They flushed when he stared at them, leaning against his locker.

"Can I help you ladies?" He asked in a sweet voice. They looked at each other and squealed. One of them, presumably Amy, took a step towards him.

"Hi, I'm Amy Carter. I… I think you look nice. Do you fancy going to watch a movie sometime?"

Kurt was silent for a long time, deliberately making the girl uncomfortable. He smirked as she squirmed and finally spoke.

"Don't flatter yourself sweetie. As your friend said, I don't date – ever. You're barking up the wrong tree here."

Amy flushed again and started stammering. Kurt rolled his eyes and walked down the hall, a slight smirk on his face. There was no denying it, he was an asshole. But he loved the sense of power that it gave him.

 

* * *

 

 

"I don't want to go to this school, I prefer Dalton."

"You haven't even  _started_ yet Blaine."

"But it looks horrible already; there are so many people."

"That's enough!"

Blaine Anderson lowered his gaze. He didn't want to make his father angry – he'd done that the night before and… well, it hurt.

"I'm not paying for you to go to that school anymore, it's full of  _fags._ I won't allow my son to be exposed to that nonsense."

"Dad, there's nothing wrong with gay people…"

His dad struck him across the face. Blaine closed his mouth. He opened the car door and walked away without saying goodbye, his bag slung over one shoulder. He pulled at his jumper in annoyance – the weather was warm, but he knew if he'd wore a t-shirt, his dad would be even angrier. He would say that it's necessary to cover his bruises. Blaine's father beat him on a daily basis for the smallest things – he'd brought a friend over without asking his dad, and when they were alone, he'd beat him black and blue. Another time, he had dropped a bottle of milk in the kitchen. On that occasion, his father had kicked him repeatedly, saying he was useless. His father also hated the way he dressed, saying he "looked like a fag". If there was one thing he hated, it was gay people. Blaine didn't see the problem with them – he even had a couple of gay friends. Despite what his father had told him about them being dirty and desperate, they were all lovely.

Blaine heard his father's car pull away and he let out a sigh. He'd been  _happy_ at Dalton Academy. He had friends, even though he was what people would describe as a nerd. They all liked him, even the Warblers did. But now he was being forced to go to a public school – he'd heard rumours about places like this, and he didn't like any of them. He took a step forwards, and then another. Before he knew it, he was at the main reception area.

"Excuse me?" He said in a timid voice. The woman on the other side of the desk looked up over her glasses. "I'm new, and I'm not entirely sure where to go. Can you help me?"

"Name?" She barked, making him jump.

"Blaine Anderson."

She typed something on her computer and after about a minute, she spoke again.

"Okay, your first class is maths. I see you've been put into the senior class for this. How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen, but I was in the advanced class in my old school."

She nodded and handed him two sheets of paper – a map and a timetable.

"When you get to the class, ask the teacher if she can get someone to show you around for the week, until you get used to everything." He nodded and she pointed him in the direction of the classroom. Blaine thanked her and walked quickly, trying to avoid attracting any attention. He kept his eyes low and ended up walking right into someone, dropping his books.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I-" He looked up and stopped talking. The boy he'd walked into was glaring at him, as though he was something unpleasant at the bottom of his shoe.

"Watch where you're fucking going," he hissed, turning around and walking away.

Blaine picked up his books and stared after the boy, his mouth slightly open. His eyes were… amazing – a light blue colour. They were like ice except they looked… warm. The ringing of the bell made Blaine jump. He straightened his bowtie and walked into his classroom.

"Are you the new student?" The teacher asked. Blaine nodded and began to speak, but she held up a hand to stop him. "Don't, I know. I'm supposed to assign someone to help you around for the week. Kurt, you can do it."

Blaine turned to Kurt and his heart stopped. It was the boy from the corridor.

"Why do  _I_ have to be the one to show the kid where to go?" He said loudly.

"Because I said so Kurt. I know the crap you pull with some of the other teachers, but you should have realised by now that it won't work with me. You'll do it, or you can go to Principal Figgins."

Kurt rolled his eyes. The teacher nodded at Blaine, who gulped. He walked to his seat beside the boy slowly and sat down.

"Don't expect me to talk to you," said Kurt, slamming his books onto the table, making everyone jump.

"I won't… I… I just need you to show me where my locker is, and where all my classes are this week."

"Fine."

The boy didn't speak for the rest of the lesson, but he didn't do much else either. Blaine, however, worked as hard as he could. By the end of the lesson, he'd finished all of the work, along with all of the extension tasks.

"How the hell did you do all of that? Aren't you only seventeen?" Kurt asked as they rose from their seats.

Blaine nodded. "I like maths… I'm good at it."

"No shit," he said, but not harshly. "Come on new kid, your locker is next to mine."

Blaine nodded and followed him down the hallways of McKinley. He couldn't help but notice that he got a lot of strange looks as they walked, although he wasn't sure why. He took the opportunity to study Kurt. He was gorgeous, there was no denying it. His hair was a light brown and shined, even though there was very little lighting. His dress sense was amazing – Blaine knew his father would never have let him dress like that, even if he did hate the things he wore now.

"Here's my locker, and there's yours," Kurt said after a while, pointing to a small metal locker. Blaine nodded his thanks and put the majority of his books inside. He studied his time table, a small frown on his face.

"Something wrong?" Kurt asked, noticing his expression. He wasn't even sure why he was asking. He didn't care… did he? This kid looked geeky – he was actually wearing a bowtie. Although Kurt had to admit, it was adorable.

"I have French next. They've put me in the advanced class again."

"You're in the advanced class for French?" Kurt repeated, raising an eyebrow. When Blaine nodded, he laughed. "That's my class as well, but I'm shit at it. I'm not even sure why I take it, I don't need to learn French; it's not like I plan on moving to France."

"I… I think French is romantic."

Kurt frowned at him. There was something… different about him. But this kid was smart, there was no denying it. That was something he could use.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Blaine."

"I'm guessing you know my name?" Blaine nodded. "Thought so – everyone at this place does. Come on, I'll take you to French."

Blaine just nodded again and followed him. Kurt was lost in thought. There was something about Blaine that he liked, but he wasn't sure why. He was the complete opposite of him. Maybe it was how shy he is, or maybe it's the fact Blaine didn't stammer every time he said something to him. The majority of the people at McKinley did and Kurt couldn't stand it. It annoyed the fuck out of him.

When they got to the classroom, Kurt sat down. Blaine hesitated – it was only when Kurt nodded that he sat beside him. As the rest of the class entered, they stared, open-mouthed at Kurt and Blaine.

"Why is everyone-?"

"Staring at us?" Kurt finished for Blaine. "Because you're with me. I barely talk to the people at this school, so to actually see me sat with another person is confusing for them."

Blaine just nodded. There was no denying, Kurt seemed to hate people, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe he just preferred to be alone.

Kurt watched Blaine closely throughout the lesson. He was in awe. This kid was amazing at maths, and even better at French. He spoke the language with such ease and control, it was fascinating.

"Listen Blaine," he said halfway through the lesson. "I don't do this often, so you'd better say yes. But I need a tutor for French. I'm shit at it, and I need to pass the finals exam so I can graduate this year. You're amazing; I'm not going to bother lying. So I want you to tutor me." When Blaine hesitated, he rolled his eyes. "I'll pay you for it, don't worry. I don't expect you do it for free." This last part was a lie – if it was anyone else, Kurt would have  _made_ them do it for free. But Blaine was different; he looked so innocent, it would be unfair to take advantage of him.

"Sure," Blaine said quietly. "I'll do it."

Kurt smiled at him. They were silent for the rest of the lesson. Blaine wasn't in any more of Kurt's lessons, so he sat alone for the rest of the day.

When the final bell rang to signal the end of the day, everyone leapt out of their seats. Except Blaine. He got up slowly and walked through the halls, dragging his feet. He wasn't looking forward to going home. If he could, he'd sleep at the school. But he knew that was stupid. He went into one of the bathrooms and splashed his face with cold water.

"Come  _on_ Blaine, get a grip," he muttered. "Yes, your dad's an asshole, but he's still family."

He sighed and pulled down the neck of his jumper, examining the dark purple bruises. Then, he lifted it, looking at his torso. His ribs were black and purple and hurt like hell, but still. He had to grit his teeth and get on with it. He smoothed his clothes down and left the bathroom. As he was walking towards the exit of the school, he heard it.

" _Come with me, and you'll be_

_In a world of pure imagination._

_Take a look at you'll see into your imagination."_

Blaine stopped walking, a frown on his face. He peeked into one of the rooms to see a group of people stood, reading lyrics off sheets. There weren't many of them, but their voices sounded beautiful together.

" _We'll begin with a spin,_

_Travelling in a world of my creation_

_What we'll see will define explanation_

_If you want to view paradise_

_Simply look around and view it_

_Anything you want to, do it_

_Wanna change the world?_

_There's nothing to it."_

"Wait!" Said a girl's voice. "There's someone watching us! He could be a spy"

The group of people turned to stare at Blaine, who froze.

"Who are you?"

Blaine bit his lip. He took a hesitant step in the room. He felt like he was trespassing.

"I'm Blaine. I… I'm new."

"Oh, aren't you in my maths class?" One of them, an Asian boy asked. Blaine shrugged.

"Guys, why have you stopped singing? You were sounding amazing! Oh…" The teacher caught sight of Blaine and gave him a warm smile. "Can we help you?"

"I… I just heard you all singing. You sounded good… I wanted to see what was going on." The teacher nodded, still smiling. "Are they any openings?"

"Um… well you'd have to audition, but… well, if you're good enough, I'm sure we can find a place for you. Have you done anything in show choirs before?"

Blaine nodded. "I was in the choir at my old school."

"That sounds perfect. How about tomorrow, during your lunch period?"

Blaine nodded again and left, feeling happier than he had all day. A show choir was perfect! They weren't like the Warblers, who did everything without backing tracks, but they sounded amazing together. Blaine was actually looking forward to school tomorrow.


	2. Welcome To Glee Club

Kurt walked into his bedroom, throwing his bag in a corner. He plugged his phone into his speakers and put some music on, turning it up loudly. No one was home, so no one would bother him. He sat on his bed and opened his laptop, logging onto Facebook. He found his fingers typing a name into the search bar before he even realised it. Blaine's profile was pretty basic – the poor kid only had a hundred friends. Kurt frowned. His profile photo was him with a group of boys, all wearing the same uniform. He zoomed into the logo and rolled his eyes. Dalton Academy. That would explain why Blaine was so smart – that school only accepted the best. Why the hell had he transferred to McKinley? Kurt carried on browsing his photos, even though there weren't many. There weren't any of his family – only his friends at Dalton. Kurt frowned again. Strange,  _his_  Facebook had photos of his old friends and his family, especially his mum.

Kurt slammed the lid of the laptop shut. Why had he thought of his mother? It still fucking hurt. He glanced at the photo in the frame beside his bed and sighed. He missed her every day. The pain was still there – sure, it had dulled a bit, but it would never go away. Kurt was afraid to get close to anyone, in case they were taken from him again, just like his mother had been.

 

* * *

 

 

"You look like you're going to shit yourself."

Blaine started. He looked up to see Kurt leaning casually against his locker, watching him. He smiled at him, turning his eyes back to what he was doing.

"I guess I'm just nervous."

"What for? It's only school."

"I'm auditioning for the New Directions."

Kurt's mouth dropped open. His eyes were wide as he stared at Blaine. "You… The Glee club?" Blaine nodded. "Why? That's like social suicide."

"I like singing. It helps me relax. I did it at my old school."

"I like to sing as well you know, but I'm not in Glee."

"How come? I mean, if you like singing…"

"Because I have a reputation to uphold," Kurt snapped. He regretted it immediately. "Sorry Blaine… It's just… Glee's not very popular. I'd love to join but…"

"It's okay. You want to keep up your image."

"I'm a dick, aren't I?"

Blaine smiled. "A little. You could always audition though?"

Kurt frowned, thinking. "You know what, I think I might."

"Really?"

"Yeah… Who knows, maybe I can make Glee club popular." He winked and Blaine laughed at him. "When's the audition?"

"In ten minutes, in the auditorium. Are… are you auditioning today?"

"No, I'm doing it next year," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I'm auditioning today."

"But-but you haven't prepared anything…"

Kurt flashed a grin at Blaine. "I don't need to prepare Blaine. I'm fabulous."

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, Blaine was stood on the stage of the auditorium. All of the members of the Glee club at McKinley were sat in the seats, watching him closely.

"Your name?" said a voice. Blaine realised it was the teacher that had spoken to him the day before.

"Blaine Anderson."

"Hi Blaine. What are you going to sing?"

"Teenage Dream, by Katy Perry."

"Good choice. We're ready when you are."

Blaine glanced to the side of the stage, where Kurt was stood. He winked at him, giving him the courage he needed. When the music stared, Blaine closed his eyes. He was lost in the song.

_"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on_

_You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong_

_I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down_

_Before you met me I was alright_

_But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life_

_Now every February you'll be my Valentine, Valentine_

_Let's go all the way tonight_

_No regrets, just love, we can dance until we die_

_You and I, we'll be young forever_

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_

_The way you turn me on, I can't sleep_

_Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_My heart stops when you look at me_

_Just one touch, now baby I believe_

_This is real, so take a chance_

_And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach_

_Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets_

_I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete_

_Let's go all the way tonight_

_No regrets, just love, we can dance until we die_

_You and I, we'll be young forever_

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_

_The way you turn me on, I can't sleep_

_Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_My heart stops when you look at me_

_Just one touch, now baby I believe_

_This is real, so take a chance_

_And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans_

_Be your teenage dream tonight_

_Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans_

_Be your teenage dream tonight_

_Yeah, you make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_

_The way you turn me on, I can't sleep_

_Let's run away and don't ever look back_

_Don't ever look back_

_My heart stops when you look at me_

_Just one touch, now baby I believe_

_This is real, so take a chance_

_And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans_

_Be your teenage dream tonight_

_Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans_

_Be your teenage dream tonight."_

As the song ended, the auditorium burst into applause. Blaine couldn't help but grin. He took another glance at Kurt, surprised to see him clapping hard. He looked back at the Glee club, still grinning.

"Blaine Anderson, welcome to the New Directions!"

"Thank you so much!"

"There's a rehearsal today, after school, okay?"

Blaine nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"Is it okay if I audition too?" Kurt asked, stepping onto the stage. The others gasped. After all, this was Kurt Hummel.  _Everyone_ at McKinley knew him, and most of them were afraid of him. They all thought the same thing – why would someone like him want to audition for Glee?

"Um… Of course you can Kurt," the teacher said. Even he couldn't hide his surprise. "What are you doing to sing for us?"

"Defying Gravity, from Wicked." He said confidently. Blaine moved to sit on the side of the stage.

Kurt looked out at the audience, a smirk on his face.

" _Something has changed within me_

_Something is not the same_

_I'm through with playing by the rules_

_Of someone else's game_

_Too late for second-guessing_

_Too late to go back to sleep_

_It's time to trust my instincts_

_Close my eyes and leap_

_It's time to try defying gravity_

_I think I'll try defying gravity_

_Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity_

_And you won't bring me down_

_I'm through accepting limits_

' _Cause someone says they're so_

_Some things I cannot change_

_But till I try, I'll never know_

_Too long I've been afraid of_

_Losing love, I guess I've lost_

_Well if that's love it comes at_

_A much too high a cost_

_I'd sooner buy defying gravity_

_Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity_

_I think I'll try defying gravity_

_And you won't bring me down_

_I'd sooner buy defying gravity_

_Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity_

_I think I'll try defying gravity_

_And you won't bring me down_

_Bring me down, oh no."_

Blaine's jaw dropped. Kurt's voice was phenomenal. It was the perfect counter-tenor and… well, Blaine thought he sounded like an angel. The Glee club were sat in a stunned silence too. No one expected Kurt to be able to sing like that.

"Welcome to the New Directions, Kurt." The teacher said, his mouth open. Kurt gave a little bow and turned to Blaine, who got to his feet and followed him off the stage.

"Kurt, you were… I mean, you were absolutely…"

"Thank you," he said, unable to conceal his smile. "So were you."

"You are going to definitely going to go today, aren't you?" Kurt nodded. "Good, because I don't want to go on my own."

"Blaine, why are you so worried about being alone? They're going to like you – you're a nice guy."

Kurt was surprised by the words that were coming out of his own mouth. Did he actually just compliment someone? Blaine rubbed the back of his neck nervously, a smile on his face. Kurt grabbed his wrist before he could lower it, his eyes narrowed. His gaze was fixed on the marks on Blaine's neck.

"Kurt, what are you-?"

"Come with me," he said sharply.

"What, why?"

"Just fucking do it, okay?" He snapped. He took Blaine's arm and pushed him into one of the bathrooms. There were three other boys in there, all football players. They were rolling up joints of weed. "Get the fuck out," Kurt spat at them. They looked ready to fight. "NOW!" They glanced at each other, hid their drugs and left the bathroom quickly.

"Kurt-"

"Let me see your neck."

" _What?!"_

"Blaine for fuck sake let me see your neck!"

"No, I-"

With a sigh, Kurt grabbed the neckline of Blaine's jumper and yanked it down. His eyes narrowed as he examined the vivid bruising.

"How much more is there?" Blaine noticed that Kurt's voice was soft – he knew that was a bad thing. He remained silent, but that seemed to make him angrier. "Damn it Blaine, answer me!"

Blaine didn't trust his voice. With shaking hands, he lifted up his jumper to reveal the bruising scattered across his torso. Kurt let out a noise like an angry cat.

"Who did this to you?"

"It doesn't matter Kurt, honestly-"

"Blaine,  _who the fuck did this to you?!"_

"It doesn't matter! It's nothing to do with you, okay? Let me deal with this on my own!"

Kurt was taken aback. No one had ever stood up to him before. And he had to admit, it was kind of hot. He mentally shook himself – now was _not_ the time to be thinking about that.

"Blaine, who did this? You can tell me." He reached a hand out to touch his shoulder, horrified when he flinched. "I… Blaine, I'm not going to hurt you."

Blaine was crying. He leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, unable to stop his sobs. "I'm sorry Kurt. I can't tell you. He'll kill me. Please, don't make me."

Kurt sighed and sat beside him. The door opened. He looked up to see a small freshman, who was obviously confused.

"Get out," he said as calmly as he could. The freshman looked terrified and left. "Blaine… did you dad do this to you?" Blaine remained silent. "I'll take that as a yes. Can I ask why?"

"Because I'm not good enough! He wants me to be like Cooper, but I'm not. He… he wants me to be my brother. I'm a disappointment. And I think he knows I'm gay!"

"You… you're gay?"

"I don't know, maybe! I've never had feelings towards a girl. There was a guy in my old school that I liked called Sebastian, but he was way too popular. Plus he was horrible to me. He bullied me, but I never reported him because he'd get kicked out. It's ridiculous."

Kurt sighed and wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulders. "That was stupid, Blaine. You can't let people walk all over you, you just can't."

"Kurt, why are you so nice to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen the way people look at you," Blaine said quietly. "They're afraid of you. But you're really nice to me. I'm guessing you like me, but I don't understand why. When you found out you had to show me around, you looked so pissed off… but now here you are, comforting me on the bathroom floor."

"I… I guess it's because you don't treat me the way other people do. Everyone in this school  _is_ afraid of me. I don't socialize with anyone, that's why. It's because I'm different. But you, Blaine. You're so innocent. When you bumped into me yesterday, I was annoyed, yeah. But then I felt so bad for snapping at you the way I did. You looked so… helpless… And you do now. I don't know why, but you're different."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, before the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. Kurt helped Blaine to his feet, and walked him to his classroom. He didn't care that he was late to his own lesson. His mind was focused on Blaine.

* * *

At the end of the day, Blaine went to the choir room for Glee rehearsals. He was nervous, especially as Kurt wasn't there yet. They all welcomed him and introduced themselves cheerfully, complimenting his singing.

"Sorry I'm late," said a voice. Blaine's heart lifted. Kurt walked in – he didn't look nervous at all. He put his bag on the seat next to Blaine's and gave him a small wink. The Glee club introduced themselves timidly, but Kurt seemed to be relaxed. He didn't look like he wanted to kill them, anyway.

"Hey guys, settle down!" The teacher said. He smiled at Kurt and Blaine. "I'm Mr Schuester, but just call me Mr Schue, everyone else does." They nodded. "So guys, regionals are in a month!" The Glee club clapped enthusiastically. "We need to think of a setlist. But, I figured we can do that tomorrow. Today, I thought we should make our two newest members feel welcome! You ready?"

The members of Glee nodded and stood up. They burst into 'Don't Stop Believing' cheerfully. Blaine grinned as they sang, thoroughly entertained. Kurt, however, looked rather gloomy.

"What's wrong?" Blaine whispered.

"I don't know if I like this. It all seems too… cheerful."

"Lighten up Kurt," he said, playfully nudging him. Kurt laughed and watched them perform closely. When they finished, he clapped harder than Blaine.

"Okay, I'll admit – I liked it in the end."

"Kurt, can I ask a question?" One of the girls, Rachel, said. Kurt nodded a small frown on his face. "Why are you even here? You hate everyone and… well, Glee isn't exactly popular."

"Do I really need a reason to be here? Did it ever occur to you that I just happen to  _like_ singing?" They were silent. "I didn't think so. Blaine's the one that convinced me to audition in the first place. But if you don't want me here then fine, I'll go."

Once again, they were silent. Mr Schue looked uncomfortable, but didn't say anything. They sang a few more songs and finished early, no doubt because they were feeling so awkward.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Kurt said to Blaine. "Wait for me if you want, I'll walk out with you."

Blaine nodded and watched him go. There was no point denying it, he liked Kurt. A lot

"It's Blaine isn't it?" He turned to see the Asian boy from his maths class looking at him, the rest of the Glee club behind him. He nodded. "I thought so."

"Dude, how the  _hell_ did you convince Kurt Hummel to audition for Glee?" a boy named Finn asked.

"I don't know… I told him I was auditioning. He said he liked singing as well, so I just… suggested he try it." Blaine shrugged.

"But… that's  _Kurt Hummel_! You must be the first person he's actually had a proper conversation with in this school."

"That's not true," Puck said. "I asked him for a lighter once."

"Yes, and he said he had one, but he wasn't going to give it to you because of your ridiculous haircut," a girl called Santana said. Her eyes were fixed on the boy's Mohawk. Puck rolled his eyes at her.

"Well… Kurt seems nice," Blaine said quietly. "He's showing me around the school this week, because I'm new. And… yeah."

He shrugged again, not really sure what to say. Kurt reappeared.

"Ready Blaine?" He nodded and waved goodbye to the others.

"That wasn't so bad," Blaine said once they were alone.

"No, it wasn't," Kurt agreed. "But I'm still not sure if I like it."

"Why not?"

"Did you  _see_ the way they were staring at me Blaine? It was like I had three heads or something."

Blaine laughed. "It's because you aren't very sociable. You just have to…" He stopped talking, his eyes fixed ahead. Kurt followed his gaze and gave a quiet snarl.

"That's your dad, isn't it?"

Blaine nodded. Andrew Anderson was stood by his car, staring at them. He looked furious.

"It's because I wasn't home right after school," Blaine whispered, looking terrified. "He's going to be so mad."

"Not if I can fucking help it," Kurt snarled. He jumped the remaining stairs and crossed the car park, Blaine trailing behind him. "Are you Mr Anderson?"

Blaine's father drew himself up to full height. "And who are  _you?"_

"It doesn't matter who I am, why the fuck have you been hitting your son?"

"I beg your pardon?" He looked livid.

"You heard me. I saw the bruises on Blaine's neck. You're  _disgusting._ You fucking stop now, or so help me, I will go to the fucking police."

Blaine's father laughed coldly. "I'd like to see you try. Blaine, get in the car now!"

Blaine looked from his father, to Kurt and sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow Kurt."

"Blaine, I…" He bit his lip. He took a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote down his phone number. "Text me tonight, okay?" Blaine nodded uncertainly and got in the car. His father sneered at Kurt and drove away, leaving him alone.

"What the fuck have you been saying to people?" His father yelled.

"I haven't – Kurt saw the bruises on my neck and he made me tell him. I'm sorry!"

"Oh you will be, boy. You fucking will be."

Blaine knew, in that moment, that his father meant it.


	3. Protector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Too Afraid To Love
> 
> Rating : M
> 
> Pairings: Kurt/Blaine
> 
> Warnings: Very strong language, sex, angst, physical abuse, discussions/flashbacks of sexual abuse and rape, self harm and suicide.

" _Blaine, just calm down, please_?"

"Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down? You're in New York, you don't give a shit!"

Cooper Anderson let out a long sigh. " _You're my little brother; of course I give a shit. Just explain what's happened?_ "

"I… I can't… He'll kill me…"

" _Okay, so I know its Dad. What's that asshole done this time? Blaine, has he hurt you again?_ " When Blaine didn't answer, he sighed. " _I'm guessing that's a yes. For fuck sake Blaine, go to the police. Do what I couldn't do."_

"I can't Cooper. I… I just need someone to talk to."

" _Its two-thirty in the morning bro, I'll call you tomorrow okay?"_

The line went dead and Blaine let out a sob. His own brother was unable to help him. He could hear his father calling his name, but Blaine ignored him. There was no way he wanted to see him. He stood up slowly and pulled his shirt off. He was wheezing – no doubt he'd have more serious bruising to his ribs. He looked in his mirror and sighed. There was already a purple tint on his eye, and several bruises on his neck, snaking all down his body. He'd have a hard time explaining these, especially his eye. Blaine shuddered. Kurt was going to be livid. He picked up his phone, dialling his number slowly. He answered on the first ring, despite the early hour.

" _Blaine?"_

"Hi…"

" _Are you alright?"_

He hesitated. "No… Not really. I… I think I need someone to talk to you."

" _I made things worse, didn't I?"_

"Not really. He would have done it anyway." He heard Kurt moan on the other end of the phone. "I'm fine. I just want to talk. I need a distraction."

" _Blaine, don't you dare tell me you're fine. You sound like you're struggling to breathe. What the hell's he done to you this time?"_

"It's just my ribs, honestly, I'll be fine."

" _Go hospital."_

His answer was blunt. Blaine could almost imagine him shaking with rage.

"I don't need to. I just need to lie down and sleep."

" _Blaine, you can barely breathe. He's damaged your ribs – believe me, I know how that feels."_

"It's just my asthma," he lied quickly. "I have an inhaler."

" _Then use it, dumbass."_ He could hear the smile in Kurt's voice, almost as though he was trying to cheer him up.

"I don't want to go get it…"

" _Why not… Oh… it's with him, isn't it? Right, just breathe. Do you want me to come over?"_

"No, that'll just make him angry. Honestly, I'll be fine."

" _I'll be the judge of that tomorrow, thanks."_

"You mean today… Um… when do you want me to tutor you?"

Kurt seemed to understand that Blaine didn't want to talk about it anymore. " _What about after school? My dad'll be working, so it won't matter if you come to my house. At least then, you can away from him for a while."_

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'll remember to bring my French books to school. Kurt?"

" _Mm?"_

"Thank you."

" _What for?"_

"Being nice to me."

Kurt laughed. The sound seemed to lift Blaine's heart. " _Oh Blaine, you have no idea how funny that sounded. You should know by now I'm not nice to many people – you're special."_

"I'm not special…"

" _Don't make me kick your ass,"_ he interrupted, making Blaine laugh.

"Stop, it hurts to laugh Kurt!"

" _Oh shit, I'm sorry!"_ His voice had lost the humour from before.  _"Are you… are you sure you're okay?"_

"I will be, don't worry."

"BLAINE!"

He jumped, his grip on the phone tightening.

" _That's your dad, isn't it?"_ Kurt said, whispering even though he was miles away.

"Yes," Blaine breathed back. "He's angry."

" _Stay away from him, okay? Just don't let him near you."_

"Yes," he said again, although he knew it was impossible. There were tears in his eyes. He slid to the floor, trying to blink them back. "Kurt, I'm going to have to go."

" _No! Blaine, stay on the phone to me!"_

"I'll see you tomorrow; I'll make sure I have my French books."

" _Blaine Anderson, don't you dare hang up on me-"_

He ended the call. Kurt was going to be angry, he knew it. The door burst open and Blaine closed his eyes. There were some things he didn't need to hear, and this was one of them.

* * *

Kurt could hear his father walking around upstairs. He yawned and stretched and got out of bed. After a quick shower and change, he went up to the kitchen, not surprised to see his father there.

"You should lay off the pancakes Dad," he said, helping himself to a bowl of cereal. "You need to remember your heart."

Burt Hummel rolled his eyes, smiling. "Kurt, I'm the parent here, I should be telling  _you_  what to do, not the other way round."

"When have  _you_ ever told me what to do?" His father laughed and Kurt smiled. He sat down opposite him. "Dad… Can I talk to you?"

Burt looked up and frowned. He nodded and set down his fork.

"I… I'm so angry dad. I can't even begin to explain…"

"Just start at the beginning Kurt – you know I'll listen."

Kurt told him everything Blaine had said on the phone in the early hours of the morning, and what he'd seen the previous day. Burt was silent, but his expression was clear.

"And he hung up on you?" Kurt nodded. "When his dad was looking for him?" Again, he nodded. "Shit Kurt, this is bad.

"You don't think I know that? I… I don't know what to do."

"You really care about this boy, don't you?"

"It's not like that Dad, you know I don't date."

"I never said it was son, but you can't deny that you care about him. He won't go to the police?" He shook his head and Burt sighed. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Kurt hesitated. "Maybe – he's coming round tonight." Burt frowned. "He's going to help me with French Dad, nothing like you think. He's a genius. I have to go; I don't want to be late for school."

Burt just nodded. He watched his son leave the house with a heavy heart. Poor Kurt – he'd gone ten years being too afraid to get close to anyone except for him. Yet, now he was growing close to a person, they were a victim of abuse. He shook his head and rose to leave for work.

* * *

"Okay, let me see them."

Kurt's voice was loud, making Blaine jump. He kept his back to him, trying to hide his face for a little while longer.

"Not here Kurt – can you  _please_ keep your voice down?"

"Fine, let's go into the locker room."

Blaine nodded and walked forwards, still keeping his face turned away from Kurt. Thankfully, the locker room was empty, although that was probably because it was eight in the morning. Blaine sat on one of the benches, his back facing Kurt.

"Turn around." When he didn't do anything, Kurt rolled his eyes. "Blaine, I'm going to have to see this one way or another. Turn around."

With a sigh, Blaine turned to face him. Kurt was unable to hide his anger. The bruise on his face had spread overnight, until a quarter of his face was purple. Kurt crossed the room and crouched in front of him, his eyes dark.

"Have you done anything to treat it, like an ice pack?" Blaine shook his head. "Why?" He shrugged. Kurt stood up, walked over to the freezer where they kept the cubes used for ice baths. He took a strip of cloth used for bandages and tied a handful of cubes inside. He walked back over to Blaine and pressed it to his face gently. Blaine let out a whimper but otherwise didn't protest.

"I know it hurts," he whispered. "But it'll help, believe me. Hold it in place."

Blaine nodded and took the ice from him, keeping it against his face.

"You're still determined not to tell anyone, aren't you?" He nodded again. "I told my dad this morning."

"You did  _what?!"_

"Shut up Blaine, he's not going to go running to the police. Do you really think I'd be that stupid? No, I told him because I don't know what to do. You won't help yourself, but you won't let other people help you either. My dad said he'd try and help,  _without_ going to the police."

Blaine nodded for a third time. "Was he mad?"

"A little, but only because you won't do anything about it – don't worry, he isn't mad at  _you,_  just your dad." Kurt sighed and sat down beside him. "If you aren't going to tell anyone what happened, we need to think of a cover story."

"How about you punched me because I messed up some of your homework?"

Kurt laughed without humour. "Somehow, I don't think so. No, we need something realistic."

"I fell down the stairs?"

He rolled his eyes. "If that's the best you can do Blaine, fine. But that isn't going to work forever." They sat in silence for a while. Blaine was shaking. It broke Kurt's heart. He reached over and took his hand in his own, squeezing it gently. Blaine jumped at the contact, but he smiled. He obviously wasn't used to such a gentle touch. The bell rang and they both sighed simultaneously. They stood up, gave each other quick smiles, and disappeared to their first lessons.

* * *

Blaine didn't see Kurt again until lunch.

He sat alone on a table, picking at his food. He was one of the first ones in the cafeteria, and slowly as people began to file in, the rest of Glee club joined him.

"Hey Blaine, how'd you find glee?"

"How are you finding McKinley then?"

"What's your… dude, what happened to your face?"

Blaine flushed and bowed his head. "I fell."

"You… you fell?" Rachel's voice was sceptical.

"Yeah, there's a little step to get into my kitchen, and I fell down it. I ended up hitting my face on the bar stool as I went down."

She cringed. "That sounds so painful. I'd  _die_ if my face looked like that, even for a week or two."

"Great way to make him feel better, Berry." They all looked up to see Kurt, standing beside their table. As though she could read his mind, Rachel moved seats, allowing him to sit beside Blaine. "Thanks." He said without looking at her. They all stared at him, intimidated. "Well, don't let me stop you doing whatever you do."

Immediately, they broke into determined conversation.

"Thank you," Blaine whispered. For an answer, Kurt winked. The conversation through lunch flowed easily. Blaine actually felt like he was being included, he could tell they were trying to include Kurt as much as possible. Thankfully, he responded warmly. It was like he was a totally different Kurt. How was it possible for him to switch from hardcore, intimating heart-throb, to sweet and care-free guy so quickly?

"So, are the New Directions entering regionals?" Kurt asked politely.

The girl called Rachel nodded. "Yeah, of course we are, we aced sectionals. Although we aren't entirely sure what the set list is going to be yet. We have to work on that, I think we're doing that today."

"Do we have any ideas yet?"

She shook her head at him. "No. We've been trying to get a spy in the Warblers, but we haven't had any success."

"The Warblers?" Blaine repeated, looking up. "You… We're going against the Warblers – from Dalton Academy?"

"Yeah dude," Puck said. "We drew with them at sectionals, so they put is both through. That's not a problem, is it?"

They were all staring at him. Blaine lowered his eyes and mumbled "That was my old school."

"You serious bro, you went to Dalton?" He nodded. " _Damn!_ What made you transfer here?"

"My… my dad stopped paying my tuition, so I didn't have a choice."

"Did you know any of the Warblers? What were they planning to sing?" Rachel said, leaning closer. Blaine had to admit, she was determined to win at regionals. He nodded, biting his lip.

"I was one of their lead singers," he said quietly.

"Blaine what was their set list?" She cried. He shrugged. Rachel leaped up and gave him a shove, causing him to cry out in pain. She ignored him, and pushed him again. There were tears in Blaine's eyes – his ribs were on fire. "Tell me Blaine!"

"Rachel, what the hell are you doing?" Kurt said loudly, standing up. The tables surrounding them fell quiet at his shout.

"I… I just…"

"He used to be a Warbler – they were his friends and he  _doesn't_ know what they were planning to sing. There was no reason to fucking shove him!"

Most of the people in the cafeteria had fallen silent now. They were all watching the scene closely – they all knew exactly what Kurt Hummel was like.

"Kurt, I didn't mean to hurt him-"

"He's  _hurt_ and you've probably just made it worse. Why can't you just win fair and square?" She bowed her head. "Because you're pathetic, that's why. You're so desperate to win; you don't care what it takes. Can't you see how badly Blaine's been hurt? He's been pushed around enough."

Blaine was silent. His head was bowed – he was afraid to look the others in the eye. He looked weak and he knew it. He felt tears escape his eyes. Without waiting for Kurt, Blaine stood up and left the now-totally silent canteen.

"Blaine, wait!"

He ignored Kurt's voice and carried on walking, not entirely sure where his feet were taking him. He ended up sat in the middle of the stage in the auditorium. He was crying – they were the kind of sobs that physically hurt. His pain was increased due to the state of his ribs.

Eventually, he got to his feet, moving over to the piano. Before he knew that he was doing, his fingers were gliding across the keys effortlessly. He missed playing. The minute he had started getting good at it, his father cancelled his lessons. That didn't stop him, however, from playing at Dalton in his spare time. Blaine taught most of what he knew to himself, including how to read sheet music. It was the one thing he felt good at and it made him proud.

"Blaine, you're going to be late for your next lesson."

He looked up to see Mr Schuester at the front of the stage. Blaine stopped, panicking.

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't… I just wanted to be alone… I didn't know…"

"Relax," he said, climbing onto the stage and sitting beside him on the piano bench. "Kurt came to see me. I was a bit surprised actually, he never talks to anyone."

"What did he say?" said Blaine quickly, unable to hide his fear.

"He… he's worried about you. Blaine, Kurt told me everything."


End file.
